is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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