I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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