no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
