If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
