Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
