Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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