I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize