do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
