Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to make a zoo with you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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