Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize