So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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