Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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