franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
