We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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