I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
