A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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