that's an acceptable place to lick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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