guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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