you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
