yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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