I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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