she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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