She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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