normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
