she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
