all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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