I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
