She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
