it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
