Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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