he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
