i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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