Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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