Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
