At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
