dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize