I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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