she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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