3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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