No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
