Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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