Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
