maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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