we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
