I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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