I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
