...so i touched it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
