Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
