Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize