do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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