I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
