what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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