if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My friends, they love my intelligence
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm determined to sit on that face.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
