Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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