I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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