Swine flu. Run for my life!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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