Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
