I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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