How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
