I intend to get homeless drunk
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize