I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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