I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
