we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You can't motorboat a personality
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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